Greetings my children!
Long time no Lord.
I was going to post something for Easter but I got "hung up"
Every once in a while I like to let a guest have a moment in the spotlight and
this is one of those moments.
It is time for.... THE LORD'S FREE STYLE RAP & POETRY CORNER!
Today’s guest rapper/poet is the Reverend Benjamin Dover.
Take it away Ben
“Say Hello To My Little Friend”
by Rev. Ben Dover
Do I like boys?
I must be truthful…
That is why I go forth and act real fruitful.
Kneel down behind me… down on your knees…
I had chili for lunch so pray I don’t sneeze.
Its time for prayer… are you still with me?
Close your eyes and plant one where the good lord split me.
And you will burn in a Justin Timberlake of fire.
Who is going to believe you over me?
We’ve been bullshitting these sheep since the knowledge tree.
If I were Pope, I could quench my thirst…
Maybe change my name to Sucks Peter the first.
Wear a big funny hat and long flowing robes…
As I pull you in closer by your little ear lobes.
It’s our little secret…
Don’t tell your mommy…
How about a threesome?
You and me and little Tommy.
Now these boys are grown and they want to cause a scene..
They want to sprinkle sand in our Vaseline.
The Pope will protect us. No one can stop it.
Watch us turn the Prophet into a profit.
“Sex is bad” is what we teach…
But when it comes to young boys I’m a blood-sucking leech.
Do as we say… not as we do…
And ignore my penis covered in poo.
I must confess… it’s a young boys shit..
But in that alter boy get up he was asking for it.
That little tease… he was driving me mad…
His peach shaped ass was the best I’ve had.
Why not avoid the incarceration…
With some good old privet masturbation?
Because were so fucked up, we think that’s a bigger sin…
Than our righteous semen running down a kid's chin.
Amen….. make that Ahhhhh men!
Since the cowards over at Photobucket deleted my choir boy pic I will repost it from Tinypic.
Eat me you sorry ass PC jag offs.
Sick and lovely. What record label are you going with?
So, that's what happened to the coal miners. You were busy jotting this down. It's good, don't get me wrong or smite me, just in the future, in your Benevolence (Omnipotence, omniscience and all the other traits we mammals ascribe to a being who is all those things while also being inscrutable somehow.) try to keep those Holy Hand Grenades from rolling down any more coal mines. Unless those miners were naughty in thy sight, in which case, and as we all know...
They shall snuff it.
I can imagine a large coin on a pedestal beside the Prayer-O-Phone. Heads answer. Tails well...leave a message. This also double for children who may be dialing the "God, please make this stop" line in mop closets and confesional booths the world over. They may think they hear dial tone, but the call won't go through.
This went rightously well with my coffee this morning.
Wow ~ thanks for sharing... bet it would be a hit on youtube!
they should publish this on the front of every national daily and scroll it in front of every news item concerning priests or Pope
Well done the Lord. Another pertinent expose
PS
Lord where can a humble soul like me get my hands on some of those candle sticks?
Wow, I'm impressed with Benny's Rhymes Lord! Can we get a recorded version? I would love to share with all my friends.